My friend knows someone who keeps all her money in a hollow dildo. If you don’t think that’s genius, just imagine a robber stealing from a teenage girl’s room. Is he going to look in the dildo? Is he even going to want to touch the dildo?? No. A hollow dildo is safer than any safe or lock.
Be safe, kids. Keep your money in a dildo.
W a r r i o r
best thing I’ve ever readNEVER FORGET
"The more you can distract yourself, the better," he says. "First thing tomorrow, we’ll get you your own rope. Until then, take mine."I spend the rest of the night on my mattress obsessively making knots […] By morning, my fingers are sore, but I’m still holding on.
omg bruce, you are the dramatic teenage girl in this relationship
i’ve never met nicki minaj but i trust her